To Whom It May Concern
by kayteex3
Summary: Peyton starts to write her feelings down and stick the paper in a book in the school library. Will she continue to write when she starts getting replies back? [LP]
1. Chapter 1

**AN: As I was updating my other story, The Heart Takes it's Toll, this idea just came to me for a new story. I'm not discontinuing my other story though, so don't worry.**

**Anyways, I hope you guys like this new idea. Reviews are always appreciated. **

**And again, I do not own or write for One Tree Hill, and this is only fan fiction. **

**Love, **

**Katie.**

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_To Whom It May Concern:_

_Everyone feels rejection at some point in their life._

_I, for one, am fighting through it right now._

_See, there is this guy, but he's kind of out of my league you could say._

_Basically what I'm saying is there is another girl in the situation,_

_And he loves her._

_Lucky me, right?_

_He's told me, "I care about you," but I want more._

_And I'm pretty sure, no wait, I'm positive he knows that._

_Here's the main problem in this whole ordeal:_

_The girl, yeah, she's my best friend._

_She has no idea how much this is killing me either._

_It's like this is the National Finals for a sports team or something,_

_And I'm on the losing team…_

…_Sitting the bench._

_I wonder who you are, you being the one who is reading my misery._

_I'm sorry if I'm boring you,_

_But I had to get this out somehow._

_I usually have a different routine for getting my feelings out,_

_But oh yes, I failed to mention this part…_

_My best friend, yeah the same one; she's kind of living with me now._

_So my room is no longer MY room, _

_And my personal stuff is no longer personal._

_Funny how that works, huh?_

_So, thanks, whoever you are._

_And now you can get back to what you were really doing._

_And take my advice with that:_

_F. Scott Fitzgerald is amazing._

_This book, The Great Gatsby, is amazing._

_Sorry if I distracted you from picking it up._

I looked around the room I was in, a quite familiar room to me actually. I could see the honor students' study group in one corner, the poets in another; the jocks being forced to do their homework, and the librarians trying to quiet them down.

Then there's me. Third period is my free hour, so I usually come down to the library to draw. That's my _actual_ way to drain my emotions; however, today I just felt compelled to change it up. Also, because of Brooke. As excited as I am to be sharing a room with my best friend, I haven't quite adjusted to it yet. I'm kind of nervous she'll go through everything in my room, insult my "freaky drawings," and change all my records to Christina Aguilera CD's.

I looked at the book in front of me, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It really was a masterpiece. See, any kind of artist intrigues me, and you don't have to draw to be an artist. Fitzgerald used his writing as his style of art, and that inspired me to do the same.

I looked one last time at the sheet of paper I had just written on before I stuck it in the book and walked away. Glancing back to the bookshelf where I had first pulled the book out of, I wondered who would eventually read my note...well, that is if anyone ever does read it.

As I walked out into the hallway, I noticed them. Just the two of them…against the world, or so it seemed. That is until she spoke up.

"Oh, Peyton! Over here!" I heard my best friend say in her cheery voice. There was so much pain built up inside me from those two being together that I regretted my next move over to them.

"Hey Brooke; Hey Lucas," I tried not to make eye contact, but he caught my eyes anyways. And when he looks into my eyes, he can see straight through every barrier I put up. And this time was no different. I could see his reaction to my pain; his eyes were as comforting as the words I needed to hear.

But still, I knew, those eyes had also rejected me and chosen my best friend, so the comfort didn't ease any pain…at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I forgot to mention in the last chapter that this story will mainly be told in Peyton's POV. **

**Again, thanks for reviewing. :) I love knowing what you guys think.**

**Love, Katie.**

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_To Whom It May Concern:_

_I don't know if you'll ever check back in this book for a reply; nevertheless, I want to let you know everything will be alright. _

_Rejection is only one way of telling you that you have to fight even harder. _

_You seem like a girl who lives as if it is you against the world, and on the inside, you are truly suffering because of it. Let me let you in on something. I've tried to fight numerous battles on my own, and 99 of the time, I came out unsuccessful. Don't make the same mistake I did. Use those closest to you as a consolation. _

_Now about this couple you are talking about. Are you really okay with losing your best friend over a guy? And how do you know the guy won't come around in the end? Most guys at seventeen or eighteen years old are confused beyond belief, but they play the game of life so confidently that girls like you tend to not notice. _

_The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite novels, so I can confidently say I know the story well. And given the fact that you have inserted your note into the book leads me to believe you have read it as well. _

_So, you know that the story is about a man who is portrayed as having so many dreams, but he is focused on one girl he met long ago that he feels he "loves." However, by the end of the book, the girl, Daisy, whom he "loved", is murdered by none other than himself. The whole concept is that he was in love with the IDEA of this girl, but not in love with her. Funny how that works out with your situation, right? _

_Now I'm not sure if you intentionally meant for this illustration when you chose The Great Gatsby of all books, but I do know that love can work that way. Maybe this boy whom you felt rejected by is in love with the IDEA of your best friend, yet not in love with her. Or maybe he's in love with the IDEA of being in love, and it doesn't matter that it is your best friend._

_It could very well be yourself; however, you will never know until you learn to face rejection. It could take one more time of telling him you love him or a hundred more times. Either way, he's probably confused like any other teenage boy. It's your job to help him out._

_But what am I to know about this whole ordeal, right?_

It was third period again, two days later. I knew it wasn't likely, but I gave into the little hope that someone may have responded, and I picked up Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby off the bookshelf. I was making her way back to my table, and one of the librarians was hurriedly walking into me to quiet down the jocks once again, causing me to stumble, loosing the book from my grasp.

I watched as the book flew to the floor, landing with pages spread out face down. As I reached to pick it up, I noticed a sheet of lined paper that looked as if it had been scribbled on. Picking it up to throw it away, I glanced at it a little more closely. The marking was not scribbles; it was a note…addressed "To Whom It May Concern," exactly as my note from a couple days back had.

Curiously, I began to study through the entire note word by word. The more I read, the more intrigued I became. I was dumbfounded that someone actually took the time out of their own day to respond to my melancholy.

But then one line, just one simple line caught my attention.

_It could take_ **one more time of telling him you love him** _or a hundred more times._

One more time? How does this person know that I've already told Lucas I loved him? This person wouldn't know that; he shouldn't know that, unless…

That's impossible…_right_?


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Spring Break started yesterday, so I should be having a little more time to update in the midst of everything going on. I might be taking a 2 day trip sometime throughout the week, but I'll try to make up for it in plenty of updates.**

**And for anyone reading The Heart Takes it's Toll, don't worry, I'm not stopping it! I'm just having a crazy writer's block with it. I know where I want to take the story, but I can't seem to put it in words. An update will be up soon for it, hopefully!**

**Thanks for the continued reviews guys! It really means a lot!  
Love, Katie**

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_To Whom It May Concern:_

_You'll probably never realize how much your reply meant to me._

_Everything you said I'm really trying to take to heart…especially that about this guy. _

_Except I think you've got one thing wrong. _

_You see, this guy…I've already had my chance with him, and I missed it._

_I blew it. _

_It wasn't his fault. _

_He spilled out his heart and soul to me, and I freaked. And when I tried to take it all back, confessing that I felt the same way as him, I was too late. _

_  
I don't get this though. Why do guys rebound so quickly, yet it's next to impossible for girls? I guess it could be because girls hang on to the words they hear, and we overanalyze everything. _

_But see…this guy, the words he spoke to me, telling me how he was finally getting what he had wanted for so long; these didn't seem like JUST words. But I guess that's a guy for you._

_Here's the problem… he's not _**just** _another boy to me. He knows me better than my own best friend does, which is kind of crazy if you think about it. And it's not that I even tell him everything…he just seems to have an x-ray vision of everything about me. _

_About The Great Gatsby, I have thought about the story before, as it relates to all of this going on. But, I didn't put the note in this book for that reason. Honestly, I don't really know why I chose this book, but I guess unconsciously it could have been with that motive._

_I've always thought about whether I want to be in love for the idea of it, or for the feeling. I know with this guy, it's not for the idea of it…'cause wouldn't that have to be to my benefit? And right now, I'm definitely not seeing many benefits. But as for him, I can't really tell how he feels. I guess some people would look at them and see "love," but I just don't know. _

_I just wish boys would figure themselves out; maybe that would be a little more helpful for girls like me. I can't bear a grudge against their relationship if it's going to last forever, but if he's confused, I don't know…_

_I just wish there was some way HE could read all this. Because I know that he can see my pain, but I just want to be able to explain it all out to him, show him my side of the story._

_I think what I really need to do is just get him alone, and spill out my heart to him. Not for any wrong motives whatsoever; I just need to talk things out with him. If I wait any longer, too much of everything will have been built up inside of me, and I'll end up letting it out unintentionally…most likely with my best friend around._

_If only everything wasn't this difficult._

_Again, thanks for listening…whoever you are._

I had quickly thrown out my impossible theory of the anonymous author of the response back to me. I mean, seriously, he couldn't have responded and not said anything to me…or Brooke. And Brooke definitely would have said something to me. That's just who she is.

I scrambled to put the book back when I noticed the familiar brunette and blonde waltzing into the library.

_What is she doing in here? _Last time Lucas tried to bring her in a library, I remember him telling me that she tried to get out of there as quick as possible. She didn't find it intriguing like Luke and I both did. The authors were all just "dead guys" to her.

But as I heard their voices coming closer and closer to where I was seated, I was able to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"So Brooke, what brings this newfound desire to read?" Luke was saying. "I mean, trust me, I'm not opposed to it, but don't you hate reading?"

"Look Luke…I don't _hate_ it. I've just, in the past, seen far better ways to entertain myself," she said as I spat out some of my water in quiet laughter. "I just want to see again what you're all about, why you like this kind of thing."

"Alright then, what book are you looking for?" He was watching her scan up and down bookshelves, figuring she had to have _some_ kind of idea of what she was doing.

"Some book about being a great…rats? I forget. I figured you'd know what I was talking about. I asked my Literature teacher today about good books, and he mentioned it."

"The Great Gatsby, you mean?"

"Yeah, that was it!" She crazed, motioning for him to find it for her.

My heart was racing at a hundred miles per hour when she said that. I almost jumped up, grabbed the book, and ran; however, I knew that would have caused a pretty big disruption, and it probably would have looked kind of weird. I didn't think either of them had noticed me yet, but I saw Lucas glance in my direction as she was trying to get him to find the book for her.

Oddly enough, he hesitated for a long period of time, and he **really** surprised me with what he said next.

"Nah, Brooke, I know a better book for you to read." He turned to look over to me one more time as if once again, he knew _exactly_ what I was thinking.

I watched the two of them parade over to another section of the library, and I finally felt at ease when they never made their way over to me again.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: There's no letter in this update, but the letters will be back. Don't worry. :)**

**Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Love, Katie.**

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Third hour arrived, and I was anxious to find another letter. However, when I checked the book, I found absolutely nothing. I didn't believe it at first, so I checked again…and again, shaking the book until all that fell out of it was a gum wrapper someone had probably used as a bookmark or something.

But then I kind of got an odd realization. Why isn't _my_ letter still in there? Someone had to have found it, just the question is who? And what did they do with it?

I know it's kind of superstitious of me, but I believed that whoever had replied before was the one who found it; they were just waiting on a reply. But, why?

I thought back to what I had written. Nothing really stuck out to me as to why they wouldn't have replied back. I just talked about Lucas, nothing different than the last note. Except, I did say I would talk things out with him, telling him how I feel. I don't really think that would affect anything with the notes, but what the heck; why not see for sure?

Picking up my stuff, I made my way out of the library, pacing slower than usual. I knew I had to go see him; only nerves were starting to take their toll.

Luckily, I knew where to find Lucas, and I knew he wouldn't be around Brooke. Since he has a free hour third period as well, he usually hangs out in the gym, working on his shot. Occasionally, Brooke will sneak out of her class to find him, but I remembered her telling me that she was on the verge of failing for skipping so many times. There was no way this new, "responsible" Brooke would try it again, at least not any time soon.

"You better not be shooting like that come your next game," I joked as I entered the gym, seeing Lucas miss a 3-point shot.

Letting the ball go, he met me at half-court, laughing at my sarcasm. "So, you think you know all about the game, do you?"

"Of course. I _did_ date both of the captains, you know."

Trying to prove my confidence, I snatched a ball from the cart and threw up my best shot, completely missing the rim.

"Yep, you're quite the basketball star," he kidded. "So, besides showing off your skills, what are you doing in here? Don't you usually spend this period in the library?"

"Yeah," I was becoming a little hesitant. "Listen Luke, we need to talk."

Understanding the importance of the conversation, he guided me over to the bleachers where we could sit down.

"So what's up?" He intently looked me in the eyes, giving me his full attention.

"Luke, I think I need to get everything out in the open," I began. "I knew I needed to talk to you soon because everything is just building up inside of me, and I was practically ready to blow."

He nodded attentively, motioning me to continue. I took a deep breath and started to spill it all.

"Luke, honestly, I can't take this any longer. This whole thing you have with Brooke is driving me insane; insane enough to come break down everything to you." I paused, saw him still listening closely, and I continued. "Lucas, remember what we used to be like? We were at the point to where I would do anything for you. I would 'wait forever if I had to,' and I still will. I just need reassurance from you that someday, doesn't matter when; just someday, you'll give _us_ another try."

"Truthfully Peyton, I understand, and I'm happy you're talking to me about this. I always wonder about you, and you know, I **do** care for you…"

"…And that's great Luke; really, it is," I replied after he delivered the famous 'I care for you' line. "I care for you too, but I also care for starving children in Africa. Do you see what I'm saying?"

I waited a second for his reply, but he seemed to just be unresponsive; however, after about a minute, he slightly nodded his head.

"I know I've told you before, and I'll tell you again after this if I have to. I love you, Lucas." This time I had no excuses. I had not just lost a lot of blood, and I wasn't afraid of death. I could just feel in my heart that I had to tell him. My only justification could have been the letters, but I refused to mention them.

He appeared as if he knew this was coming, even though I had thought he would have been taken by surprise.

Watching him slowly inch his way over to me on the rusty bleachers, I began to swell up in tears. I don't know why, but I just did. It was as if I expected rejection, or as if I expected him to respond with another "but I'm in love with Brooke."

However, this time, no more words were uttered from either of our mouths. I cried into Lucas' shoulders as he pulled me into his chest tightly. I stayed in his embrace until the bell sounded, and even then we remained like that for a few more minutes.

Trying to regain my composure, I stood up after he released me. I turned back to him, still speaking no words, and smiled. Getting up as well, he made his way over to me and wiped away the tears from my eyes.

"It'll be okay, Peyton. You'll see."

This time, I was the one to nod unsoundly. As I headed out the doors of the gymnasium, I heard his voice speak up once more.

"And Peyton, _please know_ I do love you too. It's just…" He hung his head down replacing the mention of her name. He knew I couldn't bear to hear him say it, and he was right. Just the thought of it killed me.

I took a deep breath, then let out a sigh of relief.

_Finally_, I've told him.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I don't know how I feel about this update. Some parts I like, and some parts I don't. Hope you guys enjoy it though. Thanks everyone once again for reading and reviewing.**

**Love, Katie.

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_To Whom It May Concern:_

_I'm not sure if you'll ever get this because I'm not even sure you got the last note, but I'll give it a shot anyway._

_I talked to him, just as I said I would. I told him I loved him, again. You wouldn't believe how nervous I was. My heart was racing at a million miles per hour, and I could have passed out from my anxiety, but thankfully I pulled through._

_Want to know his response? I think I just about died. At first he said, "I care for you." Can it get any lamer than that? I threw a sarcastic remark back at him because sure, caring is great; but after someone mentions love, you're not supposed to spit out that line._

_But then, he told me he loved me too. What do I say to that? Because I know he loves his girlfriend as well, or at least I think he does. You could be right with him loving the idea of being in love. _

_I couldn't respond to it; I know, lame, and totally contradictory of myself. But really, what do you say if the guy who just professed his love to you also is professing his love to his girlfriend 15 minutes later? _

_So now what do I do? Just sit and wait?_

_I know I should, but I don't have enough patience to wait for him. I told him I did, but in all honesty, this is killing me. _

_Waiting will just bring more pain, more crying, and more of a chance things will never happen between the two of us. And if that happens, I think I'll never stop regretting the day I turned away from him, all because I was too scared to let him into my life._

_I can't live a life of regret, just like I can't live a life of rejection. So I'm clueless as to what I should do. I need help, and even with one response, you've helped me tremendously._

_So please, whomever you are, will you respond again? It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't have to be life-changing. I guess the help just comes from knowing someone is listening. _

_But if you've given up on me, I understand too. As a matter of fact, I've already learned my lesson:_

_People always leave._

_I just can't stand to see him leave me, ever again._

I knew it was a leap of faith to write more, but I had to do it. Whoever had responded truly changed how I view this. I no longer felt rejection every moment of the day; I just felt like I had to fight stronger. Of course, every so often, I hung on to the feeling of rejection because it was an excuse to give up, but thinking of the note kept me going.

Since I had finished the note somewhat early, and I still had plenty of time left in the period, I decided to sketch a little. With Brooke living at my house, I never get any time for myself, and I get kind of sick of her referring to my art as "freaky."

As I was putting the note away and pulling out my drawing pad, my eyes quickly caught onto the person approaching me. Step by step, I watched him, my eyes connected with his every movement.

"Peyton." Just the way he says my name drives me crazy. How am I supposed to deal with this?

"Hey Luke," I was trying to play it cool, even though it wasn't even worth the try. He's always been amazing at reading me. This time would probably be no different.

"So what's up?" I wasn't used to seeing him in the library this hour, but after yesterday in the gym, this didn't seem as weird as it usually would.

"Listen Pey, I've thought a lot about what you said yesterday. "This is hard for me, you have to understand that."

"I do understand, Luke. But it's hard for me too…"

_So yesterday he gives me the "I care for you." Today he gives me "This is hard for me." I wonder what tomorrow will bring…_

"No Peyton, you don't understand." I could see tears forming in his eyes as he tucked his head down, trying to force them to keep unexposed.

_I don't understand? What don't I understand? _I couldn't believe that remark. He's never been so straight forward with me. I flashed him a confused look, so he would give me an explanation for his frankness.

"I told Brooke that I needed some time, Peyton. She didn't exactly take it the way I would have hoped." He slowly rotated his face, and as he did, I noticed the red mark left on his cheek from the strike of her hand.

"Luke, I'm so sorry," His voice had been shaking, so I sincerely did mean it. I never wanted him to face this, never. I didn't want him to feel pain; pain was _my_ weakness. He was supposed to be my strength. "Why'd you do it?"

"I needed to, Peyton. After talking with you yesterday in the gym, I realized I was being unfair to Brooke, yet I'm being unfair to you as well. I can't keep on saying I love you both, which I do. Really, I do. I just need some time from the both of you; time so I can figure my heart out."

"You know I'll wait forever…"

"I know that, and thank you Peyton."

Standing up, I walked over to him and pulled myself closely up to him, and I whispered, "…Forever, if I have to, but I don't want to Luke."

Pulling away, I studied his reaction on his face. He was confused, as the note had said most teenage boys are.

"I won't make you wait forever," he said as the bell rang once again. He turned to walk out of the library, but I brought him back to me before he could get too far. Pulling him close, I brought my lips up to meet his in a kiss. Not too forceful, just a soft, genuine kiss that would let him into my heart, so he would know I'm ready.

Ready for him to commit to me, and ready to commit to him.

Now, I just needed to wait


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. With school finished now, I'll hopefully be updating more. Hope you guys enjoy the update. :)**

**Love, Katie

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_To Whom It May Concern:_

_I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile. I've just been dealing with a lot of stress, and I wanted to find the right words to say to you. Your past two notes really made me think about my life and whether I am owning up to how I truly feel._

_And you know what? You're letters have inspired me. Lately, I've made some pretty drastic changes in my life. That's part of the reason why I didn't write, so please forgive me for that. I don't want you to think I will reject you. And you said "People Always Leave"; I'm here to tell you that I won't._

_I am happy that you told him how you feel. Give him some time, and I'm sure he'll come around for you. As much as you dislike hearing it over and over, it sounds like he really does care for you. Also, in your last note, you mentioned that he told you that he loved you. The truth is that guys do know what to say to make a girl fall for them, but if he has a girlfriend, I don't think that is his intention. He probably meant exactly what he said, just he's still confused._

_The main advice that I can provide you with is to give him time. Eventually, things will work out; you'll see. _

_Just trust me. Even if you really don't want to._

I found the letter three days after I had kissed Lucas on the day we had shared a conversation in the library. Honestly, I had thought the days that had gone by in between writing my last note and receiving this one had been slow; I had yet to realize how slow waiting for Lucas would be.

Even if it took him only a day to come around, that day would seem like a year. If it took him even a week, that week would feel like a century. I am not a patient person. It isn't even one of my acts I try to put on; I'm just simply impatient.

At the library table, I sat and wondered what changes my secret friend, as I had begun to call him, was talking about when mentioning his own "drastic changes." To some, like Brooke, a drastic change may be "Pink is the new Red", but I got the feeling this secret friend of mine was dealing with a deeper issue similar to my own. How could one dispense such moving advice if they were not in the same position? It almost seemed to me like this mysterious writer knew more than what I was sharing…But how?

I decided to pick up my bag and leave school early; it's not like I really needed to go to my next classes. Advanced art is simple, and my teacher adores me. She lets me do whatever I want because it's a form of "expressing myself" while the others in the class practice shading and texture. Then I have biology, so I just draw during the entire and hope someone took decent notes. The teacher looks like he could die any minute anyway, so it's not like he even notices.

While on my way out, I noticed Brooke rummaging through her locker; I paused and looked at her, then turned down a different hallway to avoid confrontation. Since Lucas and Brooke broke up, she hasn't been much of herself, and she hasn't once tried to talk to me. My guess is that she suspects something going on between Lucas and me, but I don't know. I barely know anything anymore. I just go with what happens, while impatiently waiting, and hoping that Lucas will come back to me.

Finally after walking a few miles I arrived at home, but I arrived to an odd sight. A car parked in front of my house. And not just any car, Luke's car. Running up my driveway with an immense hope that he had come to tell me what I was longing to hear, what I needed to hear, I stopped dead in my tracks. There he was, standing in my doorway, holding something.

I was only able to make out that he was holding a piece of paper, but I couldn't exactly tell what it was and why he was here to show it to me. As I got closer to him, however, I recognized the writing. My writing. And as my heart began to beat faster and faster, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out more letters. All with my writing.

"Luke, please tell me those are notes you borrowed from me for class; just please, tell me that," I begged of him. I didn't want it to be what it really was. I didn't want him to be standing right in front of me holding up the letters that I had spilled out my heart and soul into.

"Peyt-" But I cut him off again, too scared to hear what I didn't need to hear.

"No, Luke," I thrust toward him, trying to grab the letters away. By this time, I was fighting tears. "Please tell me you didn't read these."

He quickly reached for my hand with his and cupped my face with his other to settle me down. Just by his gestures alone, I knew he'd read them. He was being gentle because he knew I was in a tender position.

After I was calm, I looked up into his baby blue eyes, and he spoke, "I need to tell you something, Peyton…"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:I don't have much to say except to thank all of you for continuing to read even after the long break and also for your reviews. They _really_ do mean a lot to me.**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter. ) **

**Love,Katie

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"What is it, Luke?" I impatiently begged for an answer with earnest eyes. There we were standing at my doorstep with interlocked fingers. I was glancing up pleadingly to his bright blue eyes, but he was trying to cheat my gaze by starring down. He held me in suspense at he breathed deeply in, handing me the papers I knew so well because it was my own artsy penmanship containing my very words about him.

Letting go of his warming hold of my hand, I raised the papers up in his face, shaking them with anger, trying to find the right words to speak. Finally, I raised my voice at him, continuing to wave the notes in fury.

"You really think that you can just get away with reading these? What gives you the impression that I'd just be okay with it, not worrying that what I personally wrote in these letters wouldn't change our relationship by any means? Do you have any sense of knowledge at all to know when you've gone too far, Luke? 'Cause this…This is going way too fa-" His lips tightly pushing up against mine broke off the nonsense that had been mechanically coming out. Pulling away slightly from his lips, I finally locked my eyes with his for the first time that night.

I gave the impression that I was going to speak again, this time to apologize; yet he softly touched his finger to my lips and began to speak himself. "Peyton, look, I know you have a right to be upset, but I knew eventually that I needed to show you. Now that Brooke and I are over, I knew it would be the righ-"

"Wait," I said harshly, cutting him off and ruining the moment. "Eventually?"

_How long has he had these for? How long has he known? What if…No. No, it can't be. And no, I won't let him be. _Questions began racing through my mind as soon as I heard him utter "eventually." I couldn't believe that he could possibly be…No; I didn't even want to hear myself say it.

"Peyton, that's what I needed to tell you," He began, dealing with my severity patiently, unlike I ever would be able to do. "These letters that you're holding, they aren't one-sided; you know that. Someone has been responding to you, sending you help."

"Don't Luke," I whispered faintly. "Luke…" I knew it was coming, and I was holding my breath until I heard the words spoken from his lips.

"…And these letters are deep, Peyton. They've sent help and inspirations along to the recipient," He continued, placing both palms on my damp face. Damp from the tears that had started to descend down my cheekbones, draining faster from my eyes with each new word spoken.

"Peyton, it's me. I've been receiving your letters and writing you back. I knew it was you from the first note I found when it fell from The Great Gatsby as I was taking it off the shelf. You described my relationship with Brooke, then your problems with privacy because she's been in your room. I knew it was you from your writing; I recognized it from the letters I have kept from last year. I sensed your pain, Peyton, and I wanted to help. I knew you weren't going to listen if I told you straight-forward because you try so hard to be strong, but I want to be here for you. I want you to know that. Do you know that now?"

With a slight nod, I broke down in tears on his shoulder. He held me there, rubbing my back and occasionally kissing my forehead until I looked up at him again. "I know it, Luke. I do."

* * *

The following day during free period, I sat at my usual table with a sheet of sketching paper set out in front of me. The sketch so far only portrayed a close-up of Lucas at my doorstep the preceding day. I wasn't nearly finished when I took a moment and looked to the bookshelf next to the table. The book caught my attention immediately. The book that I had so frequently checked for a note and even more recurrently inserted one. The book that held my truths and secrets that now lay uncovered to Lucas. 

For old time's sake combined with my stimulating curiosity, I grabbed the book and began to flip through it, cover to cover if I had to. I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for, but I was searching for something. Answers, maybe? Or just more questions? Even as I heard the bell sound to get out of class, I remained there still turning over the pages in The Great Gatsby.

There it was. Hidden in the book on page 116. I knew it was him as soon as I read deeper into the faintly highlighted quote. The noted quote read "Can't repeat the past?...Why of course you can."

And next to the quote, written in pencil, was the date he had marked it. 2 weeks ago, I figured out. For two weeks, my answer had been right there in front of me. I had no "secret person" anymore; I had Lucas. Finally, I had Lucas.


End file.
